iaijutsu | [exitvoid] ic inbox.

I'm currently at the Shinsengumi classroom. That should do just fine.

I will be there shortly.

[Very shortly, in fact, because that's how Saitou rolls, so it isn't long before he appears in the doorway. And patiently waits for permission to come in.]

[ Sometimes Kondou forgets about propriety, but it's nearly impossible to with Saitou. He knows that no matter how much he encourages him to try and feel at ease, there's simply no changing years of habit. So when he hears him approach, Kondou's attention turns immediately to him. ]

You may come in.

[Propriety is what Saitou does best...and after his (somewhat embarrassing) loss of it with Hijikata several days ago, he's perhaps a bit inclined to overcompensate.

So he slips into the room quietly, stopping just short of Kondou, and patiently waits for what he has to say.]

[ Of course, once he's actually inside, Kondou hesitates in regards to how he should proceed here. After all, there's actually a lot that he has to ask of Saitou right now, but one of those questions seems far more important than the rest. ]

I wish to ask you something, and I want you to be honest with me.

[ ... that makes it sound so much more serious than it actually is, but he knows that if he doesn't get Saitou's word on this, he may simply avoid giving the full picture to Kondou in order to try not to concern him. ]

...of course, sir.

[It's clearly important, whatever it is, for Kondou to reiterate that - because how often has Saitou ever lied to his superiors?

("I'm fine" doesn't count as a lie, okay.)]

[ "I'm fine" is the biggest lie ever told. Kondou knows that, too, because he's used it more times than he can count. Right now, however, his focus is Saitou - and whatever Saitou is expecting him to say, it's likely not this. ]

Are you faring alright?

[ Because guess who knows about your disagreement with Hijikata? Also the death part. That's important too. ]

["I'm fine" isn't a lie, in Saitou's mind, so much as something that needs to be repeated and asserted to become the truth. He needs to be fine; if he says it enough, he'll believe in it.

All things considered, though...it was a rough week, and Souji was one of the only bright spots, because Souji is one of the few people Saitou can feel at ease being not fine in front of. But this, perhaps, is another bright spot: Kondou didn't ask Saitou about this until now. Because at least Saitou can honestly say -]

I am faring much better, now that my sword arm has returned.

[It's not, technically, a complete answer. But it's a perfectly true one. Going a week with no use of that arm was easily the worst thing Saitou's ever experienced; even the blow Kazama struck to his ego couldn't really compare to knowing that he wasn't just useless against Kazama, but against anyone.

Kazama's still at the center of his current worries, but everything else does look quite a bit better, when he knows he can at least face it fighting.]

I see... That is indeed good to hear. It must have considerably raised your spirits.

[ After all, they all remembered what had happened to Sannan, the way that losing the use of his sword arm had changed him considerably as a person. As samurai, they had nothing else; if they could not fight, then they had little other purpose. It was something that Kondou understood all too well. ]

Is there anything else on your mind?

[There's a long pause when Kondou asks that. Because as much as it's Saitou's instinct to brush it off, say he's fine -

Kondou did ask for honesty. And while Saitou's lack of honesty about his own condition is usually more a lack of honesty with himself than anything, he's self-aware enough to realize that he does have an issue right now.]

...

You may speak freely, Saitou.

[ Does he need permission, or is he simply not used to having to speak with others in this kind of fashion? Kondou is sure there are few people in this world he feels as though he can speak frankly with... But this may turn out to be a problem. ]

...the vice-commander had not told me that Kazama was in Zelien.

[It's a little more quiet than the tone he's been using. Because for all that he's angry about it, it doesn't really feel right to let what he's upset with Hijikata for bleed out onto Kondou.

Or maybe he's just had more time to feel hurt about it than angry, after that first day.]

And you're upset that he had not told you sooner. Do you think that you would have been better equipped to deal with it, if the news had come earlier?

[ It's not an accusation but a question, though a difficult one at that to be sure. Kondou may not know as well as some what that fight cost Saitou, but he can guess. It's why he wants to try and help smooth this over however he possibly can. ]

...I believe I would have, yes.

[He hesitates for a moment before he continues, but if he's being honest here -]

I do not believe I was well-equipped to deal with anything, last week.

Because of your hand, your disagreement with Toshi, or is there something else?

[ There's no judgement in his tone; Kondou simply wants to know, so that he can try his best to help somehow. ]

The former, primarily.

[It's not to say that he wouldn't have been angry at all, if not for that, but with enough time having passed for him to look at things a bit more objectively, Saitou's fairly certain things wouldn't have gone quite as badly with Hijikata if he hadn't been in such a bad state mentally from that.]

But for the most part, things have improved across the board now?

[ He asks because he genuinely cares, and because if there's anything that he can actually do in order to assist Saitou, he wants to try his best. It's a difficult situation that he's in, after all, and Kondou is supposed to be the Shinsengumi's leader.

Even if he doesn't actually feel like it most of the time. ]

For the most part.

[That Kazama situation isn't exactly - good, even if knowing he has his sword arm back helps immensely (but doesn't quiet the part of him that worries about whether it really matters).

The Hijikata situation -

- well, the less said of that, the better.]

[ Let's just not talk about the Hijikata thing. It's incredibly complicated on all sides, and what's more it's not really Kondou's place to interfere.

Sometimes he has a bad habit of making things worse, instead of making them better. ]

Is there anything that I can do to assist you?

["I don't know, sir" -

- is never the answer Saitou will give for anything.]

...no, sir.

[ The answer makes him feel guilty, but at the same time, he can't help but feel relieved. An odd mixture, to be sure. It's because he knows that Saitou would be honest with him, and surely this means that he has everything under control.

... Right? ]

Then before I dismiss you, I have one further thing that I wish to ask of you.

[ Now Kondou looks troubled. ]

[Just a nod, patiently waiting for the question...though not without some trepidation.]

... Do you know where Souji is currently residing?

[ Hiding, not residing, Kondou. ]

He's been staying in my room, mostly.

[...mostly.]

But he has also been spending quite a bit of time outside, alone.

Thank you for your assistance, Saitou. You are dismissed.

[ Kondou needs to go and find Souji, and make things right again. ]

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iaijutsu - 2014-03-14 21:38 (UTC) - Expand