Saitou doesn't move in response, and his voice, when he responds, carries the kind of flat, distracted monotone that suggests that all of his attention and self-control is busy processing whatever he's just seen.]
But rather than decide between answering the question of what history he has with Kazama versus what Kazama is looking for this time (because one is a difficult subject to talk about and the other he has no idea how to answer), Saitou simply passes his watch silently over to Souji, to let him see what the current conversation looks like.]
[ at first, souji doesn't get it. it's obvious from how his eyes widen up that he had no idea about kazama's presence here, either. how long is long enough? that doesn't make any sense to him. surely something this big would have been brought to their attention already.
he keeps the watch in his hands, tears his eyes away from it to look over at saitou. well. it doesn't matter how he'll put it, because any way he does and it will end up sounding more presumptuous than he means it to be.
so he'll wait for saitou to say anything, if he even does. ]
[It's tempting not to say anything, because this is the last subject he wants to think about, the last moment in his life he'd ever want to revisit. But there's not much he hides from Souji (Souji's good at figuring most of it out anyway), and especially when Souji's been upfront with Saitou about his current health...]
He was the one who gave me the ochimizu.
[And the one who made damned sure that he was going to need it.]
souji doesn't need to know the details, nor does he even feel like asking, to know that this is as much as a sore spot to saitou as the whole tuberculosis thing is to him. it's a matter of wounded prides, and he knows how to dance his way around that.
but it's funny how familiar that sounds, to have a demon be the cause of losing your own humanity. he knows that all too well. ]
So what are you going to do?
[ it's bad enough neither of them knew kazama was here, but with that little tidbit on top of it? if it were souji, he would have been furious, and he imagines saitou feels the equivalent of that. ]
[His gaze drops to the floor, and his good hand moves to clutch at his bad arm. What are you going to do would be such an easier question to answer, if not for that. But in this state...
...in this state, he'd just be asking for another death.]
[ his eyes flicker over to where saitou's good hand holds the bad one, and he sighs right after. that was the wrong question to ask, obviously. he isn't going to press it. ]
... [ he's no good at finding the right words to comfort someone, even though saitou would always know what he's trying to say. ] What a bad thing to wake up to.
[ as if on cue, souji's own pocketwatch pings and he reaches for it in his coat. ... which is not where he left it, what the hell. did saitou get up at some point and put it away? he sighs at the effort it takes to retrieve it, eyes glossing over at the message he's received before sighing yet again. ]
—It looks like I have somewhere to be, too. I'll be back.
[ he makes himself presentable and leaves out the door without another word. time to see what ivan wants from him.
and come back for more sleep later, because he's going to need it. ]
[As if Saitou could've managed to get up and put it away with Souji draped all over him like a solid, heavy lump.
He doesn't answer that, only nods briefly and returns his attention to the screen of his watch; he's got a lot to say and not enough to say it with, and it's going to take his attention.
Souji can manage himself, Saitou's sure. He's an adult.
[ having a good arm didn't prepare souji for what ivan had in store. he comes back in what feels like hours later (and maybe it really is, he doesn't know how long he stood outside under all that rain), looking much worse than how he was when saitou ran into him a few days ago. it almost feels like he's back in square one, but really, right now, all he cares about is falling back to sleep.
he wraps his fingers around the door knob, ready to turn it, but he seems to daze out halfway through the motion. what he'd learned... even just thinking of it makes his limbs feel heavier than they really are.
his head presses itself against the door, hand still poised to open it but now he doesn't feel like it at all. maybe he should go somewhere else? clear his thoughts for a bit, then come back then.
... no.
this is where he wants to be. ]
Hajime-kun? Are you still there?
[ if he receives no answer, then he'll go away for a while. ]
[He was damned well about to not be there, but as soon as Saitou opens the door - with angry, businesslike posture that suggests he's on his way to - somewhere -
He stops, and his posture just...melts.]
...Souji.
[He steps back and to the side, no longer blocking the door.
He doesn't ask what happened. If Souji wants to share that, he more than likely will of his own volition, and if he doesn't...well, Saitou's not going to be the one to push him.]
[ souji lifts his head up and can't even bring himself to smile like he usually does. he drags a whole rain cloud with him as he enters the room, barely looking at saitou before plopping on the bed. the other bed, not the one they had been sharing.
it takes a while before he finally says anything. ]
[Because he really doesn't. Somewhere...probably, yes? But as for where, he never thought that far ahead. He just needed to not be sitting there stewing in it.
[ meanwhile, souji remains where he is and causes a puddle to form. there's even water in his eyes. ... he really needs to change out of these clothes sometime soon. ]
[He did, at one point. Before COMPASS completely wrecked all the supplies they had, and he hadn't yet acquired more clothing - other things took precedence, especially with the way the weather had shifted since he and Hijikata first arrived.
...well, okay, there's still one thing.]
Only this.
[His haori's been hanging over in the closet; he's been more inclined not to wear it this week, when he's had every reason to lay low. He crosses the room to snatch it from the hanger and moves close to pass it over.
[ he's going to rub his cooties all over it, watch out.
souji takes one look at the offered haori before accepting it. he sets it aside for now—on the dryer parts of the bed—before rising up to continue stripping off the rest of his clothes. the pants stay though, because wow. can't go that far on the first date— ]
This sure is nostalgic.
[ he slips on the haori, feels the familiar texture of the fabric on his skin. he hasn't worn it in what feels like forever. ]
[First date pls like they aren't already sleeping together.
Though as Souji says that, Saitou realizes - he never did ask precisely when Souji arrived from. Partly because he never wanted to hear that far about the future; he's afraid of what he might hear, even if he feels that (unlike Hijikata, unlike Kondou) he could ask Souji, if he really wanted to.
Partly he never asked because here, when everyone came from never seemed as important as the fact that they were here, and they were all each other had.]
[ souji hasn't thought about it, mostly because he's spent much of that time recovering from silver bullet wounds (thanks kaoru). all he really cares about is that it was a really long time. ]
[There's not an awful lot to say to that, really - especially not for someone as naturally taciturn as Saitou. So rather than try to come up with something, he just takes a seat next to Souji. Close enough to be awfully convenient, if Souji wants him to be, but not quite close enough to be invading his space, if he doesn't.]
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Saitou doesn't move in response, and his voice, when he responds, carries the kind of flat, distracted monotone that suggests that all of his attention and self-control is busy processing whatever he's just seen.]
I received a message.
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From who?
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Kazama.
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What business does he have with you?
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But rather than decide between answering the question of what history he has with Kazama versus what Kazama is looking for this time (because one is a difficult subject to talk about and the other he has no idea how to answer), Saitou simply passes his watch silently over to Souji, to let him see what the current conversation looks like.]
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he keeps the watch in his hands, tears his eyes away from it to look over at saitou. well. it doesn't matter how he'll put it, because any way he does and it will end up sounding more presumptuous than he means it to be.
so he'll wait for saitou to say anything, if he even does. ]
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He was the one who gave me the ochimizu.
[And the one who made damned sure that he was going to need it.]
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souji doesn't need to know the details, nor does he even feel like asking, to know that this is as much as a sore spot to saitou as the whole tuberculosis thing is to him. it's a matter of wounded prides, and he knows how to dance his way around that.
but it's funny how familiar that sounds, to have a demon be the cause of losing your own humanity. he knows that all too well. ]
So what are you going to do?
[ it's bad enough neither of them knew kazama was here, but with that little tidbit on top of it? if it were souji, he would have been furious, and he imagines saitou feels the equivalent of that. ]
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[His gaze drops to the floor, and his good hand moves to clutch at his bad arm. What are you going to do would be such an easier question to answer, if not for that. But in this state...
...in this state, he'd just be asking for another death.]
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... [ he's no good at finding the right words to comfort someone, even though saitou would always know what he's trying to say. ] What a bad thing to wake up to.
[ translation: should we go back to sleep? ]
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A moment.
I have something to take care of.
[Namely: texting Hijikata and getting his head bitten off.]
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[ as if on cue, souji's own pocketwatch pings and he reaches for it in his coat. ... which is not where he left it, what the hell. did saitou get up at some point and put it away? he sighs at the effort it takes to retrieve it, eyes glossing over at the message he's received before sighing yet again. ]
—It looks like I have somewhere to be, too. I'll be back.
[ he makes himself presentable and leaves out the door without another word. time to see what ivan wants from him.
and come back for more sleep later, because he's going to need it. ]
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He doesn't answer that, only nods briefly and returns his attention to the screen of his watch; he's got a lot to say and not enough to say it with, and it's going to take his attention.
Souji can manage himself, Saitou's sure. He's an adult.
He's got a good arm.]
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he wraps his fingers around the door knob, ready to turn it, but he seems to daze out halfway through the motion. what he'd learned... even just thinking of it makes his limbs feel heavier than they really are.
his head presses itself against the door, hand still poised to open it but now he doesn't feel like it at all. maybe he should go somewhere else? clear his thoughts for a bit, then come back then.
... no.
this is where he wants to be. ]
Hajime-kun? Are you still there?
[ if he receives no answer, then he'll go away for a while. ]
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He stops, and his posture just...melts.]
...Souji.
[He steps back and to the side, no longer blocking the door.
He doesn't ask what happened. If Souji wants to share that, he more than likely will of his own volition, and if he doesn't...well, Saitou's not going to be the one to push him.]
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it takes a while before he finally says anything. ]
Were you headed somewhere?
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[Because he really doesn't. Somewhere...probably, yes? But as for where, he never thought that far ahead. He just needed to not be sitting there stewing in it.
He closes the door.]
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It's not any better out there.
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[What's out there isn't the point, so much as being unreachable is.
But that's clearly taken a back seat.]
You should get those wet clothes off.
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[ he places his swords on the mattress before he gets to work shrugging off his clothes away, starting with the sash, then the arm warmers. ]
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...well, okay, there's still one thing.]
Only this.
[His haori's been hanging over in the closet; he's been more inclined not to wear it this week, when he's had every reason to lay low. He crosses the room to snatch it from the hanger and moves close to pass it over.
Try not to get your stank on it, Souji.]
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souji takes one look at the offered haori before accepting it. he sets it aside for now—on the dryer parts of the bed—before rising up to continue stripping off the rest of his clothes. the pants stay though, because wow. can't go that far on the first date— ]
This sure is nostalgic.
[ he slips on the haori, feels the familiar texture of the fabric on his skin. he hasn't worn it in what feels like forever. ]
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Though as Souji says that, Saitou realizes - he never did ask precisely when Souji arrived from. Partly because he never wanted to hear that far about the future; he's afraid of what he might hear, even if he feels that (unlike Hijikata, unlike Kondou) he could ask Souji, if he really wanted to.
Partly he never asked because here, when everyone came from never seemed as important as the fact that they were here, and they were all each other had.]
How long has it been?
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[ souji hasn't thought about it, mostly because he's spent much of that time recovering from silver bullet wounds (thanks kaoru). all he really cares about is that it was a really long time. ]
Longer than it should have been.
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